Sexuality and Sexual Health

Being comfortable with our sexuality and our bodies is important. Having questions about how our bodies work and why we feel a certain way is natural and inevitable.

From primary school to retirement, sexuality and sexual health is a part of our lives. It changes as we change - from the moment we start thinking about sex, avoiding or achieving a pregnancy, and how to avoid sexually transmissible infections.

Then there's menopause and prostate problems in later years as well as the time to help us have a great sex life in retirement.

Having healthy sex and a health body means knowing what's right for you, all through your life. At FPV we think it's important to discuss sex, to learn about safe sex and sexuality and that includes:

• Sexuality and Sexual Orientation.This section explores what we are and who we are attracted to. It's not always easy finding out or thinking you are gay. You aren't alone and there are plenty of stories and advice from people who have been there and survived.
  
  
• Fertility. Whether you are avoiding pregnancy or trying to get pregnant, there are things to do and things you shouldn't do. For advice on contraception and on the best times to get pregnant as well as ways to ensure your pregnancy is a healthy one, click onto our Fertility section.

• Female Sexual Health. Breasts, vagina, vulva, cervix, labia - the words start to sound like a science fiction movie cast list after a while. Keeping your sexual organs healthy, making sure you have a Pap smear, mammogram and an STI test or screen when you need it, are all part of being a woman. We tell you what you need to know about what is down below.

• Male Sexual Health. Men don't like talking about their health and may feel uncomfortable asking questions about their sexual health. Find confidential advice on everything from impotence to infertility, testicular cancer to prostate problems.
  
  
• Adolescence. Whether you are a teenager or a parent of a teen, sex can be confusing. Don't put it off. Learn what you need to know, and learn how to talk about it. Kids and parents who talk about sex have better, and safer, sex lives. Teens who know about sex are happier and healthier when they eventually have sex.

Sex Facts and Fiction

Don't be a dummy when it comes to sex. Be smart and learn what sex is...and what it isn't.

Sex is more than just putting a penis into a vagina or anus. Sex can include everything from kissing to stroking, licking, rubbing and massage. While there seem to be endless ways to have sex, there are rules about what should happen: no-one is allowed to have sex with a person under 10 years of age; if you are between 10 and 16, you cannot have sex with someone who is more than 2 years older than you; people in the same family cannot have sex and you cannot be forced to have sex.

There are other facts about sex that are worth knowing, not only so that you are sex-savvy but because knowing about sex, safer sex practices and how to prevent pregnancy can keep you healthy and happy.

Learn about sex myths and facts, find out how to tell your partner to practice safer sex, or find out how you can practice safer sex without your partner's involvement.

Men with more testosterone DO make smooth talkers. A UK study found that regular injections of the male hormone made men more articulate, persuasive and fluent.

What is sex education?

Sex education, which is sometimes called sexuality education or sex and relationships education, is the process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, relationships and intimacy. Sex education is also about developing young people's skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education, partly because it is a means by which they are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS

What are the aims of sex education?

Sex education seeks both to reduce the risks of potentially negative outcomes from sexual behaviour like unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and infection with sexually transmitted diseases, and to enhance the quality of relationships. It is also about developing young people's ability to make decisions over their entire lifetime. Sex education that works, by which we mean that it is effective, is sex education that contributes to this overall aim.

What skills should sex education develop?

If sex education is going to be effective it needs to include opportunities for young people to develop skills, as it can hard for them to act on the basis of only having information.^{6 7} The kinds of skills young people develop as part of sex education are linked to more general life-skills. For example, being able to communicate, listen, negotiate, ask for and identify sources of help and advice, are useful life-skills and can be applied in terms of sexual relationships. Effective sex education develops young people's skills in negotiation, decision-making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognise pressures from other people and to resist them, deal with and challenge prejudice, seek help from adults - including parents, carers and professionals - through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education that works, also helps equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information, discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality, including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.

Forming attitudes and beliefs

Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality. These sometimes appear contradictory and confusing. For example, some health messages emphasis the risks and dangers associated with sexual activity and some media coverage promotes the idea that being sexually active makes a person more attractive and mature. Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people's behaviour - these too can sometimes seem to be at odds. Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural frameworks that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control. It is important to remember that talking in a balanced way about differences in opinion does not promote one set of views over another, or mean that one agrees with a particular view. Part of exploring and understanding cultural, religious and moral views is finding out that you can agree to disagree.

Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.

People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.^{11 12} Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.

Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people's feelings and options.^{13 14} They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.

So what information should be given to young people?

Young people get information about sex and sexuality from a wide range of sources including each other, through the media including advertising, television and magazines, as well as leaflets, books and websites (such as www.avert.org) which are intended to be sources of information about sex and sexuality. Some of this will be accurate and some inaccurate. Providing information through sex education is therefore about finding out what young people already know and adding to their existing knowledge and correcting any misinformation they may have. For example, young people may have heard that condoms are not effective against HIV/AIDS or that there is a cure for AIDS. It is important to provide information which corrects mistaken beliefs. Without correct information young people can put themselves at greater risk.

Information is also important as the basis on young people can developed well- informed attitudes and views about sex and sexuality. Young people need to have information on all the following topics:

• Sexual development
• Reproduction
• Contraception
• Relationships

They need to have information about the physical and emotional changes associated with puberty and sexual reproduction, including fertilisation and conception and about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. They also need to know about contraception and birth control including what contraceptives there are, how they work, how people use them, how they decide what to use or not, and how they can be obtained. In terms of information about relationships they need to know about what kinds of relationships there are, about love and commitment, marriage and partnership and the law relating to sexual behaviour and relationships as well as the range of religious and cultural views on sex and sexuality and sexual diversity. In addition, young people should be provided with information about abortion, sexuality, and confidentiality, as well as about the range of sources of advice and support that is available in the community and nationally.