Sexuality and Sexual Health

Being comfortable with our sexuality and our bodies is important. Having questions about how our bodies work and why we feel a certain way is natural and inevitable.

From primary school to retirement, sexuality and sexual health is a part of our lives. It changes as we change - from the moment we start thinking about sex, avoiding or achieving a pregnancy, and how to avoid sexually transmissible infections.

Then there's menopause and prostate problems in later years as well as the time to help us have a great sex life in retirement.

Having healthy sex and a health body means knowing what's right for you, all through your life. At FPV we think it's important to discuss sex, to learn about safe sex and sexuality and that includes:

• Sexuality and Sexual Orientation.This section explores what we are and who we are attracted to. It's not always easy finding out or thinking you are gay. You aren't alone and there are plenty of stories and advice from people who have been there and survived.
  
  
• Fertility. Whether you are avoiding pregnancy or trying to get pregnant, there are things to do and things you shouldn't do. For advice on contraception and on the best times to get pregnant as well as ways to ensure your pregnancy is a healthy one, click onto our Fertility section.

• Female Sexual Health. Breasts, vagina, vulva, cervix, labia - the words start to sound like a science fiction movie cast list after a while. Keeping your sexual organs healthy, making sure you have a Pap smear, mammogram and an STI test or screen when you need it, are all part of being a woman. We tell you what you need to know about what is down below.

• Male Sexual Health. Men don't like talking about their health and may feel uncomfortable asking questions about their sexual health. Find confidential advice on everything from impotence to infertility, testicular cancer to prostate problems.
  
  
• Adolescence. Whether you are a teenager or a parent of a teen, sex can be confusing. Don't put it off. Learn what you need to know, and learn how to talk about it. Kids and parents who talk about sex have better, and safer, sex lives. Teens who know about sex are happier and healthier when they eventually have sex.

Sex Facts and Fiction

Don't be a dummy when it comes to sex. Be smart and learn what sex is...and what it isn't.

Sex is more than just putting a penis into a vagina or anus. Sex can include everything from kissing to stroking, licking, rubbing and massage. While there seem to be endless ways to have sex, there are rules about what should happen: no-one is allowed to have sex with a person under 10 years of age; if you are between 10 and 16, you cannot have sex with someone who is more than 2 years older than you; people in the same family cannot have sex and you cannot be forced to have sex.

There are other facts about sex that are worth knowing, not only so that you are sex-savvy but because knowing about sex, safer sex practices and how to prevent pregnancy can keep you healthy and happy.

Learn about sex myths and facts, find out how to tell your partner to practice safer sex, or find out how you can practice safer sex without your partner's involvement.

Men with more testosterone DO make smooth talkers. A UK study found that regular injections of the male hormone made men more articulate, persuasive and fluent.

What is sex education?

Sex education, which is sometimes called sexuality education or sex and relationships education, is the process of acquiring information and forming attitudes and beliefs about sex, sexual identity, relationships and intimacy. Sex education is also about developing young people's skills so that they make informed choices about their behaviour, and feel confident and competent about acting on these choices. It is widely accepted that young people have a right to sex education, partly because it is a means by which they are helped to protect themselves against abuse, exploitation, unintended pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases and HIV/AIDS

What are the aims of sex education?

Sex education seeks both to reduce the risks of potentially negative outcomes from sexual behaviour like unwanted or unplanned pregnancies and infection with sexually transmitted diseases, and to enhance the quality of relationships. It is also about developing young people's ability to make decisions over their entire lifetime. Sex education that works, by which we mean that it is effective, is sex education that contributes to this overall aim.

What skills should sex education develop?

If sex education is going to be effective it needs to include opportunities for young people to develop skills, as it can hard for them to act on the basis of only having information.^{6 7} The kinds of skills young people develop as part of sex education are linked to more general life-skills. For example, being able to communicate, listen, negotiate, ask for and identify sources of help and advice, are useful life-skills and can be applied in terms of sexual relationships. Effective sex education develops young people's skills in negotiation, decision-making, assertion and listening. Other important skills include being able to recognise pressures from other people and to resist them, deal with and challenge prejudice, seek help from adults - including parents, carers and professionals - through the family, community and health and welfare services. Sex education that works, also helps equip young people with the skills to be able to differentiate between accurate and inaccurate information, discuss a range of moral and social issues and perspectives on sex and sexuality, including different cultural attitudes and sensitive issues like sexuality, abortion and contraception.

Forming attitudes and beliefs

Young people can be exposed to a wide range of attitudes and beliefs in relation to sex and sexuality. These sometimes appear contradictory and confusing. For example, some health messages emphasis the risks and dangers associated with sexual activity and some media coverage promotes the idea that being sexually active makes a person more attractive and mature. Because sex and sexuality are sensitive subjects, young people and sex educators can have strong views on what attitudes people should hold, and what moral framework should govern people's behaviour - these too can sometimes seem to be at odds. Young people are very interested in the moral and cultural frameworks that binds sex and sexuality. They often welcome opportunities to talk about issues where people have strong views, like abortion, sex before marriage, lesbian and gay issues and contraception and birth control. It is important to remember that talking in a balanced way about differences in opinion does not promote one set of views over another, or mean that one agrees with a particular view. Part of exploring and understanding cultural, religious and moral views is finding out that you can agree to disagree.

Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.

People providing sex education have attitudes and beliefs of their own about sex and sexuality and it is important not to let these influence negatively the sex education that they provide. For example, even if a person believes that young people should not have sex until they are married, this does not imply withholding important information about safer sex and contraception. Attempts to impose narrow moralistic views about sex and sexuality on young people through sex education have failed.^{11 12} Rather than trying to deter or frighten young people away from having sex, effective sex education includes work on attitudes and beliefs, coupled with skills development, that enables young people to choose whether or not to have a sexual relationship taking into account the potential risks of any sexual activity.

Effective sex education also provides young people with an opportunity to explore the reasons why people have sex, and to think about how it involves emotions, respect for one self and other people and their feelings, decisions and bodies. Young people should have the chance to explore gender differences and how ethnicity and sexuality can influence people's feelings and options.^{13 14} They should be able to decide for themselves what the positive qualities of relationships are. It is important that they understand how bullying, stereotyping, abuse and exploitation can negatively influence relationships.

So what information should be given to young people?

Young people get information about sex and sexuality from a wide range of sources including each other, through the media including advertising, television and magazines, as well as leaflets, books and websites (such as www.avert.org) which are intended to be sources of information about sex and sexuality. Some of this will be accurate and some inaccurate. Providing information through sex education is therefore about finding out what young people already know and adding to their existing knowledge and correcting any misinformation they may have. For example, young people may have heard that condoms are not effective against HIV/AIDS or that there is a cure for AIDS. It is important to provide information which corrects mistaken beliefs. Without correct information young people can put themselves at greater risk.

Information is also important as the basis on young people can developed well- informed attitudes and views about sex and sexuality. Young people need to have information on all the following topics:

• Sexual development
• Reproduction
• Contraception
• Relationships

They need to have information about the physical and emotional changes associated with puberty and sexual reproduction, including fertilisation and conception and about sexually transmitted diseases, including HIV/AIDS. They also need to know about contraception and birth control including what contraceptives there are, how they work, how people use them, how they decide what to use or not, and how they can be obtained. In terms of information about relationships they need to know about what kinds of relationships there are, about love and commitment, marriage and partnership and the law relating to sexual behaviour and relationships as well as the range of religious and cultural views on sex and sexuality and sexual diversity. In addition, young people should be provided with information about abortion, sexuality, and confidentiality, as well as about the range of sources of advice and support that is available in the community and nationally.

When should sex education start?

Sex education that works starts early, before young people reach puberty, and before they have developed established patterns of behaviour.^{15 16 17} The precise age at which information should be provided depends on the physical, emotional and intellectual development of the young people as well as their level of understanding. What is covered and also how, depends on who is providing the sex education, when they are providing it, and in what context, as well as what the individual young person wants to know about.

It is important not to delay providing information to young people but to begin when they are young. Providing basic information provides the foundation on which more complex knowledge is built up over time. This also means that sex education has to be sustained. For example, when they are very young, children can be informed about how people grow and change over time, and how babies become children and then adults, and this provides the basis on which they understand more detailed information about puberty provided in the pre-teenage years. They can also when they are young, be provided with information about viruses and germs that attack the body. This provides the basis for talking to them later about infections that can be caught through sexual contact.

Providing basic information provides the foundation on which more complex knowledge is built up over time.

Some people are concerned that providing information about sex and sexuality arouses curiosity and can lead to sexual experimentation. There is no evidence that this happens.^{18 19} It is important to remember that young people can store up information provided at any time, for a time when they need it later on.

Sometimes it can difficult for adults to know when to raise issues, but the important thing is to maintain an open relationship with children which provides them with opportunities to ask questions when they have them. Parents and carers can also be proactive and engage young people in discussions about sex, sexuality and relationships. Naturally, many parents and their children feel embarrassed about talking about some aspects of sex and sexuality. Viewing sex education as an on-going conversation about values, attitudes and issues as well as providing facts can be helpful. The best basis to proceed on is a sound relationship in which a young person feels able to ask a question or raise an issue if they feel they need to. It has been shown that in countries like The Netherlands, where many families regard it as an important responsibility to talk openly with children about sex and sexuality, this contributes to greater cultural openness about sex and sexuality and improved sexual health among young people.²⁰

The role of many parents and carers as sex educators changes as young people get older and young people are provided with more opportunities to receive formal sex education through schools and community-settings. However, it doesn't get any less important. Because sex education in school tends to take place in blocks of time, it can't always address issues relevant to young people at a particular time, and parents can fulfill a particularly important role in providing information and opportunities to discuss things as they arise.

Who should provide sex education?

Different settings provide different contexts and opportunities for sex education. At home, young people can easily have one-to-one discussions with parents or carers which focus on specific issues, questions or concerns. They can have a dialogue about their attitudes and views. Sex education at home also tends to take place over a long time, and involve lots of short interactions between parents and children. There may be times when young people seem reluctant to talk, but it is important not to interpret any diffidence as meaning that there is nothing left to talk about. As young people get older advantage can be taken of opportunities provided by things seen on television for example, as an opportunity to initiate conversation. It is also important not to defer dealing with a question or issue for too long as it can suggest that you are unwilling to talk about it.

In school the interaction between the teacher and young people takes a different form and is often provided in organised blocks of lessons. It is not as well suited to advising the individual as it is to providing information from an impartial point of view. The most effective sex education acknowledges the different contributions each setting can make. Schools programmes which involve parents, notifying them what is being taught and when, can support the initiation of dialogue at home. Parents and schools both need to engage with young people about the messages that they get from the media, and give them opportunities for discussion.

In some countries, the involvement of young people themselves in developing and providing sex education has increased as a means of ensuring the relevance and accessibility of provision. Consultation with young people at the point when programmes are designed, helps ensure that they relevant and the involvement of young people in delivering programmes may reinforce messages as they model attitudes and behaviour to their peers.

Effective school-based sex education

School-based sex education can be an important and effective way of enhancing young people's knowledge, attitudes and behaviour. There is widespread agreement that formal education should include sex education and what works has been well-researched. Evidence suggests that effective school programmes will include the following elements:

• A focus on reducing specific risky behaviours;
• A basis in theories which explain what influences people's sexual choices and behaviour;
• A clear, and continuously reinforced message about sexual behaviour and risk reduction;
• Providing accurate information about, the risks associated with sexual activity, about contraception and birth control, and about methods of avoiding or deferring intercourse;
• Dealing with peer and other social pressures on young people; Providing opportunities to practise communication, negotiation and assertion skills;
• Uses a variety of approaches to teaching and learning that involve and engage young people and help them to personalise the information;
• Uses approaches to teaching and learning which are appropriate to young people's age, experience and cultural background;
• Is provided by people who believe in what they are saying and have access to support in the form of training or consultation with other sex educators.

Formal programmes with these elements have been shown to increase young people's levels of knowledge about sex and sexuality, put back the average age at which they first have sexual intercourse and decrease risk when they do have sex . All the elements are important and inter-related, and sex education needs to be supported by links to sexual health services, otherwise it is not going to be so effective . It also takes into account the messages about sexual values and behaviour young people get from other sources, like friends and the media. It is also responsive to the needs of the young people themselves - whether they are girls or boys, on their own or in a single sex or mixed sex group, and what they know already, their age and experiences.

Taking Sex Education Forward

Providing effective sex education can seem daunting because it means tackling potentially sensitive issues. However, because sex education comprises many individual activities, which take place across a wide range of settings and periods of time, there are lots of opportunities to contribute.

The nature of a person's contribution depends on their relationship, role and expertise in relation to young people. For example, parents are best placed in relation to young people to provide continuity of individual support and education starting from early in their lives. School-based education programmes are particularly good at providing information and opportunities for skills development and attitude clarification in more formal ways, through lessons within a curriculum. Community-based projects provide opportunities for young people to access advice and information in less formal ways. Sexual health and other health and welfare services can provide access to specific information, support and advice. Sex education through the mass media, often supported by local, regional or national Government and non-governmental agencies and departments, can help to raise public awareness of sex health issues.

Because sex education can take place across a wide range of settings, there are lots of opportunities to contribute.

Further development of sex education partly depends on joining up these elements in a coherent way to meet the needs of young people. There is also a need to pay more attention to the needs of specific groups of young people like young parents, young lesbian, gay and bisexual people, as well as those who may be out of touch with services and schools and socially vulnerable, like young refugees and asylum-seekers, young people in care, young people in prisons, and also those living on the street.

The circumstances and context available to parents and other sex educators are different from place to place. Practical or political realities in a particular country may limit people's ability to provide young people with comprehensive sex education combining all the elements in the best way possible. But the basic principles outlined here apply everywhere. By making our own contribution and valuing that made by others, and by being guided by these principles, we can provide more sex education that works and improve the support we offer to young people.

Michael

hello,

I am a guy, 26 years old, from California, and I am in college part time and provide services for computer programming part time. My experience with sex ed classes is the following. 1. I only had one such class in junior high school. It was a little early for me, I was like 15 years old, and it was not really good useful knowledge. But, even so, I guess they did a pretty good job with the class. It was very detailed and had lots of questions, but not much one-on-one discussion, or small group discussion. It was kind of all over you know, lots of information. It needs to be way more serious. They need to like yell it at you like in the military, that this could save yor life.... I mean this is IMPORTANT, You could get AIDS and DIE! for goodness sake. I think it should be required to take such a class every year. It needs to be more realistic, and not have that much information but more about what we do need to know. Mostly condoms. that is the most important thing. absolutely. there are sexually transmitted diseases that people can possibly get, and these days we have technology, called "condoms" which when used properly can basically protect you almost 100 percent. Then there is pregnancy. you dont want to get pregnant if you are not ready right?? It will change your life. That is for sure, so you want to be ready and prepared when you do do that .....to have kids. So, you use a condom every time and you will be covered and you will be safe.... I am now 26 years old, and I must say I hope that the girl that I get interested in will be most educated and intelligent to know the right stuff. There are a lot of benefits to having sex. It is generally a very healthy thing to do, actually, and part of your bodies' normal functions, like exercise. As a matter of fact it is a form of exercise. There are several ways to have sex. Self-sex, which is called masturbation, has a bad connotaion, and some people look on this very negatively. But really that is just practice of the real thing, right? Its like a test screening, or a demo, or a test run. Its basic training. Its like preparation. They say practice makes perfect... There is your standard relationship which should be positive and safe at all times. When a girl and guy get into bed to get some action they should be prepared and have the basic safety equipment. Now what would that be.. let me see... hmmm.. oh yeah, the "condom"! Not a big deal. Also I wanted to say that there are very important ways that girls should protect themselves. This is called the female condom. And frankly I am shocked that there is not much infomation out there about the female condom. You can buy them at any so-called "Drug Store" like Save-On. But don't buy any drugs there by the way, you dont need to take drugs thats disgusting. These idiots call their store a drug store, man. You can also buy it on the internet, Ask your doctor and he/she will tell you more about that. This is a way that girls can protect themselves proactively. It is a condom but for ladies. It goes on the inside of the female private parts. Its like a suction cup kind of thing. You get the idea. Now go buy one. they cost about 15 dollars on the internet or at the so-called "drug store" . Dont tell me its too expensive, thats bullshit. Get the money and buy it. Dont make me go out there and educate the whole world. The idea with education is that everyone can have a win-win situation. We all can have a great life and achieve our dreams and have a nice reliable and respectable life, there do not have to be any sad endings. Thank you, and best of luck to you, please make the safest decision for yourself at all times, michael

college student, Los Angeles, CA

AVERT.org: Female condoms are available at family planning clinics, drugstores and some supermarkets in the US for much less than . The cost in clinics or when authorized by a private doctor is covered by Medicaid in some states. Find out more about the female condom.

MaryAnne

Funny that I should find this site. After reading some of what others have written I thought I would put my two cents in as today during a class was a prime example of how ignorance can really be a parent's downfall.

I work in a class which teaches high school students to think at a higher level, among other things. I've been in this program for two years now and really love my kids. My daughter is actually one of my students as well, and even her friends have asked me all sorts of questions. I answer honestly but always with an air of caution to be sure I don't offend anyone - including their parents. Today was one of those days.

The 10th grade class is much smaller than the freshman class (for AVID, where I tutor) and they are encouraged, nay required, to bring a question to class everyday pertaining to their other classes. This year there is a new tutor who I have tried to help learn the program. I took over working with this class today as she and the teacher were busy doing other things. One student finally asked this question from reseach she had done for Health class: "Aside from getting STD's and pregnant, why do adults think having sex is bad?" Long story, short, she was actually asking why do adults think kids shouldn't have sex. I could see in the other tutor's eyes she was not truly comfortable with the nature of the question but I wasn't going to let it deter me in answering. The student had said that in her research sex was supposed to be healthy, something about even making your teeth stronger and helping with depression (yeah, I laughed). I explained that while sex can be healthy and you can even burn calories, it certainly isn't a replacement for regular excercise and that it can promote endorphins which can curb depressed attitude but that's not its goal either. On the health side I also asked about prostitutes. They aren't always the healthiest group and they certainly aren't the happier group because of their profession so her original research probably wasn't all that accurate. Another student added it was about your morals, and I quickly agreed but then asked the students to take that away for the moment, along with the religious aspect and focus on the other issue - the one no one had mentioned - the emotional health and well-being of a person. All the other stuff aside, this was the most important because that's really what sex is about when it comes down to it. And at their age, they really aren't equipt to handle all that comes along with the actions.

Though this was about a 10 minute discussion, I was about to wind down the other tutor piped up in a rather cold tone stating that this had really gone on long enough and that she knew parents of two of the students and personally wouldn't want her daughter listening to any of this. I said nothing for the moment until she looked at me and said she could see on the students' faces that they were uncomfortable (they were mostly facing me and she was in the back of the class) and because of that the discussion needed to end. She felt that no one needed to talk to them except their parents because her child talks to her. And though this may be from Health class, this wasn't the place to talk about it. What I found even more interesting was the student who asked the question originally asked the other tutor why what I was saying was wrong? The tutor's answer, you should be talking to your parent.

Why would anyone in their right mind think that's the cure-all? Maybe if parents were more comfortable and children felt like they could have these types of conversations then there wouldn't be a need for health class. Because I'm in a public school I can't discuss religion but heaven knows there are a lot of religious people out there, unmarried, having sex and getting pregnant - and guess what? A lot are teenagers. And why is it okay to discuss this in Health class but no where else? It just didn't make any sense!!! I wasn't being obsene, graphic or even promoting sex in any way. The other tutor felt I should have kept the answer short and go on to the next. But I don't care how you look at it, that one student who asked the question would have known it as a brush-off had I done that.

You have to be upfront and honest without losing site of the responsibility of what you're saying. I think that's the key. If someone, like this other tutor, thinks I have crossed a line in someway, then it shows the amount of ignorance one can have. Its not just up to the parents - it takes a village to raise a child.

MaryAnne

Jacob

To whom it may concern... i just have a "few" thoughts about your website i'd like to rant and rave if you don't mind... i'll try to control my language but you can edit it all or nothing if it so pleases you. Aweomse site by the way it's very interesting (i find anyway) to read school teachers views and thoughts.

Just coming out of highschool and such i had one REALLY good teacher that taught me sex-ed even though she wasn't supposed to in the middle of english class soem kids were joking around about somehting i can't remeber and she said "ok you know what? let's all have a talk because this morning i had a grade 8 girl ask me the best way to give head to a boy". Now i know what your thinking that shocked the f**king s**t outa me and then i realized that really... that's only a few years 4 years between grade 8 and 12. Some people date people 10 12 years there senior or younger and my parents are 5 years apart so maybe i'm just used to it and 4 years is a big differance but whatever. So anyway my entire class of about 30-35 kids (actuall class size more like 50 with a teacher's aid but see my previous rant on what not to do when there's someone dressing down or punching kids in the hall) shut up. that's an amzing feat mind you. then she told us to ask her any questions concerning sex at all ever and she would answer.

Right away a few of the guy's asked some stupid questions like i heard you can make a condom out of tin foil? they high fived each other and so on but one of the girls asked does plastic wrap work? everyone laughed at that but hey in a pinch does it work or not? my teacher answered no and blah blah but then she let us ask her questions and joke about whatever and didn't bother us about termonology and what we should be calling a man's penis and what we shouldn't be calling it. Whenever one of us said something that wasn't ture or just a bit off she would step in and say nope it dosn't work like that and this is what you do... Compareing that to my actuall sex-ed classes in junior high when i attended a certain catholic school. My teacher did almost the same thing with the questions, she got us all to write them down (with no names of course) and stick them in a box then she would read them out loud, A great and awesome way i think to start. When it came time to open the box and read some though it went down hill from there... there were some questions that made her blush and some that made her so pissed off that she left in a mad rush out of the class room. Now of course everyone wants to see why the teacher got so mad so we all go up and look and the question was "why are there flavoured condoms". a simple question witha simple answer such as because some times people like to orally plaesure there partner or something would have sufficed. The girl that wrote the question down got in big shit from her parents and the school (she was the only that used a pink pen go figure eh?) so i think in reality adults need to grow up.

if you look at statistics about pornoghraphy almost 50% of the looking at pron as it is sometimes called is done by CHILDREN yes people kids are not the holy virginal creatures you take us for sometimes in fact i walked in on a cetain member of my family doing a solo act to the t.v. and he was many years short of being 18. In fact i will now link you a website with statistics, i don't know about there credibility but i do know as an 18 year old that kids OFTEN get into adult things becuase of there parents or some clumsy adult leaving things laying around that shouldn't be laying around. I once was forced by my dad to clean up (a dog or something ripped it up.. more likely an angry parent/spouse) a playboy magazine the thickness of a telephone book in a nearby playground! Needless to say i learned alot that day at the ripe age of 9 about the joy of reading. While cleaning this up my friends (roughly 12 kids my age) came to help me and a few of them as young as 6 i believe. I clearly remeber a girl my age picking up the most entact pages and stuffing them into her pockets. When asked by all the other kids what she was doing she shrugged and left (after grabbing several more). So maybe this is my own messed up Childhood but i think that this is somewhat the norm i have been over to kids houses where the kids of the house promptly showed me there dad's collection of "reading material". Some of you may blame the internet for such lewd acts for showing so many children porn so easily. If that child is so innocent how do you think he/she found those internet sites? Most sites that kids go to are gaming sites and such and as a frequenter on amany of those websites i can guarantee you that no adult popups shall force demonic wrath upon your child.

Rewinding to sex-ed again... is it any wonder kids have so many unanswered questions about what is right and what is wrong? And asking your parents about sex... hmm yea that's an awesome way to get yourself grounded from playing with a good friend who's parents are shady so says your parents who've never met them. Or an equally awesome way to get grounded off the televsion or computer for vast amounts of time. Trust me i know after i found that magazine i started asking all kinds of questions just casualy wanting to know about life right? i got yelled at and told to go to my room for something i didn't even know about. and again i know friends that have parents like mine. and no my parents are'nt evil or hardcore old fashioned... my mother is in fact gay and proud to be and my father is just an average dood living his life. What i'm trying to say is threw this big massive rant is that people need to get into the nitty gritty detail about sex with SOME kids and the other kids i believe should be gently eased into it and for those of you that say they shouldn't be taught at all?. i have learned through my friends more experianced with me as about what to do and how somehting works and such and we all know how accurate friends are on some things as much as they try to be. So i say an adult should tell them what is and what isn't about sex. Stop avoiding it in schools because it's all around us in the music kids like to listen too (good example Ludacris "what's your fantasy", Eminem Feat. nate dawg "shake that" and Techno "Ulitimate sex track") and books we read... i read a crapload of novels and such everything from Anne Rice to R.A. Salvatore (and his books are way better that tolkeins ever will be) and these boks have smatterings of sexual content also. So anyway thank you for reading my long winded rant about my life's encounters of the sexy kind hahaha. Thanks =D

Will

My name is Will. I will soon be 12 years old.

Well its funny that I should find this site. I have noticed that many places wait too long to tell people about sex. In my school they begin talking about puberty in grade 4. They repeat what was told in grade 4 in grade 5 but they also brush the basics about sex. Though I knew everything I learned in grade 5 before that due to freinds.

In grade 6 it blew me away how much they told. Though the video they showed us was high school leveled in terms of vocabulary so it was ahrd to understand. I was told everything i already knew but much more. The only thing it did not cover was exactly HOW to have sex. I do belive this is right though i have know it since i was in grade 5.

As for my parents they avoid the subject of sex completely. Even the subject of puberty. I don't feel comfortable asking them about anything sex related.

Well thats it,

Will

Louise

My name is Louise and i currently taking work placement as a social work student at a primary school. after reading all these entires i have strongly agreed with some people.

At this moment in time, this school is trying to educate their students about 'themselves'... but becuase of the policies of the Catholic Education Office, certain topics are not allowed to be spoken about in class. This is ridiculous... the grade 5/6's are embarking on the transition into high school and they are going into a new world without knowing the basics of 'sex'.

i feel sorry for these children as they will be totally shocked once they finally learn about 'sex'. I feel that the school and the Catholic system is trying to hide the children away from the truths of our society, that they are trying to protect these children from the horrors of the real world.

Sex education in schools is a must! i can only imagine what these kids are going to grow up learning and what they learn... how on earth it will affect them...

Daniel

I am 22 years old and I've had 2 sex-ed classes.

The first was in Bettendorf, Iowa and I was in 6th grade. I had moved there during my 5th grade year. The class I had was a comprehensive sex-ed class. I took it during the 2nd semester of that year. There are many things to say about this especially since I have a near-photographic memory.

Looking back, this class was a disservice for me. Long story short, it was too intense and I was not ready for such detailed information. At the end of the course I believe that I was addicted to sex and sexual thought.

The biggest reason why this class had such a negative impact on me could be pinned on one thing: posters. Specifically, posters of male and female genitalia. They were displayed on the wall of the classroom and I remember very clearly that I stared at the female one every day (I'm a guy if you haven't figured it out yet). This was the equivalent of looking at pornography everyday. Since guys are very easily visually stimulated in the 6th grade it's no wonder I turned out the way I did.

In my seventh grade year I moved to Sergeant Bluff, Iowa. I had a sex-ed course in the last part of my 8th grade year. This course was an abstinence-only class. Taking sex-ed the second time around was very different. I actually learned some things! It was a quarter long and they concentrated on the different stages of life rather than an intense focus on puberty like the first class did.

In both situations my parents did not talk to me beforehand at all. When they signed the permission slip for my 6th grade year all they told me was, "You're going to be learning about how babies are made" and that was it.

Back then I was not comfortable with myself as a sexual being (it's ironic that most parents fear that of their child). In my house sex was a taboo. You just didn't talk about it. As a result I had no one to talk to when it came to my sexual or otherwise personal feelings.

To this day I despise them for not talking to me, even though I already knew about it. In high school my dad wanted me to see a therapist because of all the moving we've done (I've moved 7 times at this point) and also because of the fact that we weren't very close as a family. Many subjects were talked about but there was one that I kept coming back to and it was sexualality.

To come to the current day, I have thought a lot about this subject and have come to a conclusion. First, be open with your children about "personal" body parts when they're in grade school. Don't make sex or other related topics a taboo. Second, tell them about puberty before it happens (in other words before 5th or 6th grade). You don't have to talk about sex then but at least tell them what's going to happen (especially for girls). Third, the sex talk should take place between 5th grade and 8th grade. The easiest time would be when you tell them about puberty or sometime soon after that. From there keep the discussion open and encourage then to talk about it with yourself.

As for sex-ed classes, don't take a comprehensive course. Just don't. Abstinence is okay but comprehensive especially at 6th grade is way too much for children.

Best wished,

Daniel

Annette

Hi, My name's Annette I'm 21 and I live in Australia.

I had already pieced together most of the "sex talk" before I was eight. When I was six, me and my friend used to put socks down out undies and hump each other before we even knew what we were doing. my first educational experience was at a drive-in one evening with the family when I decided to go wonder off and see what was screening on the opposite side to our screen. This was a revolutionary moment for me. The movie was Lightning Jack - A comedy about two outlaws who just wanted to be wanted. There was some scene involving a mute black man, a sexually confident saloon girl and a saddle. I haven't watched the film since so my memory is most likely a bit blurry. But that pretty much gave me the information I needed to start piecing things together. I came to the conclusion that babies were made from a man's sweat when he has an intense need to hold a woman.

I've been pretty sexually aware ever since. So before knowing anything about erect penises and seamen and intercourse, I learned the key element behind it all. The want for another body/lust. My first sex-ed class was when I was 9, and it was purely puberty based, and well done. I think it's important for children to be taught sex-ed at school because not all parents are up for the job, and not all children are willing to be that open about their sexuality to their parents. We has sex-ed classes every year from what I can remember. We had a box where we could leave anonymous questions for them to be answered the the next class. I remember asking the teacher if we could get pregnant while on our period. That seemed to baffle her a bit coming from a 10 year old.

I didn't actually go through any sexual development until I was 12, and by then I'd been told all about different sanitary items, with and without wings! light vs. heavy etc etc. Out classes by the age of 12 were pretty much confirming knowledge about sexual development, and informing us about sexual intercourse in more detail. Previous years were pretty much "this goes in here, seamen comes out, travels along here meets the egg and BABY". In High school the pubescent education was over. It was from then on more like a sexually orientated biology lesson. Learning what develops at each stage of pregnancy. Shown different contraception methods, shown how to put condoms on, learned all the statistics, all about when people ovulate, hormone levels for both sexes. All in all a pretty good education.

Just recently I watched a television presentation called "Texas teenage virgins" and it scared the crap out of me! Here I am coming from a really well informed perspective and hearing how some of the kids weren't taught anything about sexual intercourse because abstinence is the best option. It's impossible to argue with that, but every body has hormones therefore everybody is susceptible to having sex so everyone should be educated on what they can arm them with to prevent things like STDs and pregnancy when abstinence fails. I'm now really keen to become a sex-Ed teacher. I believe there's a few gaps in our sexual education I could fix as well.

From my experience we're more likely to have sex when it's late at night or you're alone with someone of your sexual preference or you've been drinking or You've been watching a raunchy movie together or it's dark. Things easily avoided if you don't want to have sex. My life would have a been a bit less eventful if I didn't do a lot of those things.

But thanks to my education, I've never done anything as a teen I've regretted.